It’s weird how so many guys say things like, “I will prove to you that we aren’t all the same,” “I’m not like the rest of them,” “I will treat you better…” But then it’s so untrue. To be honest I’d rather a guy never speak to me than to just throw out words like that for no reason. If those things were really true the guy would already be doing them instead of just saying them.
I’m tired of the many broken promises. Whenever a guy makes me a promise, the sad thing is that I never take it at face-value, so as to preserve my feelings. (That doesn’t mean I don’t give them the benefit-of-doubt, so to speak.) But I know that when the time comes for that promise to be kept, it will most likely be broken. It’s sad, but it’s partially how I feel now. I’ve had so many promises broken that I don’t believe things people say anymore until they are actually done. The funny thing is, I don’t ask for those promises. I tell the guy, “I don’t like promises, so please don’t make one.” Yet they go on to make it, and break it. This is why it seems that I’m losing faith in people. The most valuable thing a person can use is their word, but so many people just don’t have integrity like they used to. I feel numb to certain things now and it makes me sad because I want to feel true love one day.
I know that when the right guy actually DOES come along he will NOT make promises that he’s going to break. He will do sweet things for me, unexpected, all the time. And I won’t feel numb anymore. I’ll feel new, refreshed, and it will probably come when I least expect it.
Truly the one person I can count on is God because He is always there, and He always loves me, even though I seem to fail him all the time. Maybe the reason that God is letting me go through this right now is because He needs me to hear Him more clearly than ever, and to belong to Him, only Him. I can’t wait for the future that He holds for me because it exceeds all “my” plans.
Truly, one of the desires of my heart is to fall in love with my true love one day, get married, and have a family together. God knows this desire so I know one day He will fulfill it. I have my doubts of this, but that is why I must hold onto God more than ever.
This is what I want my love to look like:
“Pride and Prejudice.” Mr. Darcy with Miss Elizabeth.